House…..is.….insane.

To conduct a normal film review of such a film isn’t an easy task, as that would imply that it’s a normal film, which House (otherwise referred to as ‘Hausu’.) is anything but that. Imagine full blown 70s kitschiness in all of its glorious gorgeousity, but warped in a rocky horror, Japanese nightmare. Then, maybe, you would have an inkling of what House is.

The film chronicles the adventures of the main character Gorgeous and her friends, each with equally ridiculous names such as Fantasy and Kung-Fu (The names of which suggest the characters’ supposed character traits, all the while adding to the kitschiness of the production). As in classic horror archetype, the group of naïve girlfriends flock to spend the night at an unknowingly haunted mansion belonging to a relative. They are then one by one picked off by an all-powerful and sadistic being that dominates the House.

By the sound of the plot summary, one could assume it’s just like any other horror film. To assume that is stupid. Although the film shares various archetypes present in most horror films, Japanese director Nobuhiko Obayashi plants a fresh perspective, using an arsenal of cheesy effects and dialogue paired with vast amounts of gore to draw a literal blood bath of campy, whimsical, disturbing fun. This film is a sin; a secret pleasure. The disastrous demise of the school girls is presented in a silly, and quite humorous fashion. Whether it’s one of the girls being eaten by a piano, or another being beaten to death by mattresses and blankets, the death sequences are secretly enjoyable, leaving a light-hearted, yet sadistic feeling on the soul.

This film has it all. Cats that spew fountains of blood, an old woman that eats her own eyeball, a skeleton that is seemingly constantly jiggling and twerking throughout the entire film, disgustingly cheesy special effects, a ridiculous plot line pushed by even more ridiculous characters, and it is all tied together nicely by a soundtrack of unchained, pre-packaged, pure Japanese-70s kitsch.

The whereabouts of House are few and far between, making it a hard film to get a hold of. In fact, I had to scour the dark recesses of the internet for a good hour to procure it. Aside from the minor setback of actually finding the film (legally), it is definitely worth finding, and definitely a film which must be watched before you die. It is a testament to what a sick mind with a lot of time and imagination can accomplish. An ode to Japanese “rocky horror”.