Asexuality: “What? The plant thing?”

One of the running jokes in the asexual community is “What’s better than sex?” The answer: cake (with the asexual flag colors, of course).

Julianna Head, Writer

No, it’s not only about plants. Unlike its counterparts, an asexual person is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction. It’s not hard to imagine – most individuals have certain people they’re not sexually attracted to, like a mother or brother. There are some misconceptions though. The thought that asexuality is the same as celibacy is one of them. There’s one key difference: celibacy is a lifestyle choice, while asexuality is like any other orientation, such as homosexuality or bisexuality. Another one is that asexuals can’t become aroused. People, sex orientation and sex drive are two completely different things. That’s all I can say on the matter, but if you really want to know more, there’s always Google.

Nevertheless, there’s one main problem with asexuality: many people don’t know what it is. When asked to define asexuality, senior Angelica Gales said, “There’s the reproduction thing in biology, but I’m guessing that’s not what you’re asking. I’m pretty sure asexuals don’t marry people, and they’re not oriented towards a specific gender or attracted to anyone.” She’s somewhat correct, as asexuals aren’t attracted sexually to anyone. They can marry, both to other asexuals and to sexually active people. Their romantic assignment (who you have candlelit dinner feelings for) determines whom they go for. So, you can be asexual but still want a relationship with the same gender (homoromantic) or the opposite gender (heteroromantic). There are, however, those who feel no romantic feelings (aromantics), but that’s another story for another time.

The crux of the matter is this: many people believe they’re broken or that something is wrong with them because they don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone. Even the LGBT+ community tends to call asexuals “special snowflakes” (which is sad, given that asexuals want nothing to do with snow – not in that way, at least). The more people know about asexuality, and the more people that understand asexuality, the better. Plus, there’s the “A” in the LGBTQIA. Everyone assumes it stands for Allies, but not so. It stands for the asexuals and the aromantics. Allies, we know you’re trying to help, but you’re kicking us out of our rightful place!

They’re out there. They exist. There are more of them than you know, and they won’t stay in the dark any longer.

Want to know more? Check out the official asexuality site. Also! Asexual Awareness Week is every year from October 26th through November 1st.