Idiots Need Pediatricians to Tell Them It’s a Bad Idea to Abuse Their Children


Aidan Franks, Writer

Not sure if you’re aware of this, but apparently it takes doctors to convince parents that it’s probably a bad idea to spank their children. Wow, what a surprise. Also, this still happens in schools? Like, what year is this?

I did a little survey and half of the students surveyed said they were spanked and that they would spank. I guess I just suspected this form of idiotic, backward punishment was behind us. Apparently not. Weirdly, the students who said they were spanked typically had the most negative views on spanking. Who would have thought?

Honestly it’s pretty crazy to me that anyone I surveyed thought spanking was anything other than a cruel relic. I mean, almost half of them?

The funniest part about this is that pediatricians and researchers actually had to say this. When I first read a headline about this, it legitimately sounded like satire from The Onion. Did anyone really have to tell these parents hitting their children could impede their mental development? I guess these parents must’ve had their development a little stumped due to spankings they received from their parents.

The fact that corporal punishment still happens in schools, while a hilarious thought, is pretty messed up. Schools cite research when it comes to learning strategies and classroom management. Hopefully, the schools that still use corporal punishment as part of their discipline plan will change their ways after seeing this study. “Alabama is one of 15 states with laws that specifically allow corporal punishment in public schools… Some local systems and some schools in Alabama have also eliminated paddling, as research shows little benefit to discipline and educators often cite concerns about liability.

Now that we know that spanking messes with development of a child, who cares if it is one deterrent to bad behavior? There’s other ways to discipline children, people. Ground them or something, no need to hit them.