Summer Break is one of the best parts of the year, but sitting in your house while your brain atrophies for two months or so gets boring. I’ve compiled a list of the worst movies to watch over the summer. Sometimes the best movies are the low budget films with terrible writing, terrible actors, and a cameraman who can’t hold a camera straight.

Cool as Ice

This rap-oriented remake of The Wild One (1953), has quite a twist: it features Vanilla Ice in the role of Marlon Brando. He falls in love with a girl after jumping over a fence with his motorcycle, and almost killing her after he lands in front of the horse she’s riding. Her life is going great, she’s smart, pretty, and doing quite well for herself in the horse riding game. But then good ‘ole Vanilla steps in with his black and white pinstriped hammer pants…complete with a matching jacket. They take a romantic trip to a construction site, but that night the girl’s brother is kidnapped. Then Vanilla correctly identifies the kidnapper, and the happy couple rides into the night together on his motorcycle.

A memorable quote from the movie:

“Princess: Where were you?

Johnny (Vanilla Ice): Chillin’ wit Kat. You know, that chick who drives the horse.”

Watch the trailer here

Buckaroo Banzai and his Adventures across the 8th Dimension

Buckaroo Banzai is many things: an adventurer, a brain surgeon, a rock musician, and everything I want to be in life and more. He and his trusty crime fighting team The Hong Kong Cavaliers must stop an invasion of aliens from the 8th dimension. I think EVERYONE in this movie is named after a place, except Buckaroo Banzai – of course he isn’t, I mean after all he’s quite accomplished in the fields of neurosurgery, music, and…adventuring.

A memorable quote from the movie:

“New Jersey: Why is there a watermelon there?

Reno: I’ll tell you later.”

Watch the trailer here

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Birdemic has gone down in history as one of the worst movies ever made. The audio continually cuts in and out, and the camera angles are very confusing. The majority of the movie is just following the protagonist around during his day to day life. It shows him getting coffee, stopping for gas, and just driving. Even if you don’t watch the full movie, please please I beg you, just watch the clip I linked to below. I die everytime I watch this scene. When suddenly, the birds attack. The birds can spit acid, are very obviously animated, and they can only fly up and down…oh, and it’s the same bird in each shot, but resized.

A memorable quote from the movie:

Dr. Jones: It’s the human species that needs to quit playing cowboy with nature. We must act more like astronauts, spacemen taking care of Spaceship Earth.

Watch one the best scenes in the whole movie here

Titanic – The Legend Goes on

My absolute favorite part of this movie is that it suggests that the Titanic was nothing but a legend. It’s an Italian cartoon featuring incomplete subplots, a rapping dog from modern-day New York, mice wearing sombreros, and ripoff Disney characters. The only way I can describe the plot is a weird combination of Cinderella and Titanic. It looks like a heartwarming family movie until pretty much everyone dies in a tragic shipwreck.

A memorable quote from the movie:

“Party time! It’s party time!”

Watch the trailer here

The Blob

The Blob is about exactly what it says it is…a blob from space that eats everything around it, while only getting bigger. The only people who know about it are a group of teenagers who nobody believes.

A memorable quote from the movie:

“Lieutenant Dave: Just because some kid smacks into your wife on the turnpike doesn’t make it a crime to be 17 years old.”

Watch the trailer here

Yor, The Hunter from the Future

Complete with the He-Man haircut, eyeliner, and loincloth, Yor really is the epitome of who I aspire to be. The entire premise of the movie is that Yor saves his girlfriend from dinosaurs, and then they get zapped into the future.
A memorable quote from the movie:

“Yor: Help me cut the choice meats.”

Watch the trailer here

Sharktopus

The sharktopus is a creature created by the military, but it gets loose and terrorizes a lot of girls in very tiny bikinis on the beaches of Mexico. A quality film.

Two memorable quotes from the movie (I had to include both of these, I mean come on):

“Captain Jack: Trust me, okay? There is no such thing as a sharktopus.

[the sharktopus grabs and pulls him into the water]”

“Nathan Sands: Make me proud, pumpkin.

Nicole Sands: I told you to stop calling me that.

Nathan Sands: Make me proud, Nicole.”

Watch the trailer here

Leprechaun in the Hood

I haven’t personally had the pleasure of viewing this movie, but I heard about it through another student. IMDb’s plot summary of the movie said, “When three rappers want to get even with a pimp, they accidentally unleash a leprechaun who goes on a killing rampage in the ‘hood.’”

A memorable quote from the movie:

“Leprechaun: I’ll take it from you, homie, you’ll see, cause you know the Leprechaun is the real O.G.”

Watch the trailer here

Who Killed Captain Alex

Who Killed Captain Alex was made in Uganda with under $200 and a camcorder. At first I laughed at the people in the film. The acting wasn’t the best, the dialogue was awkward, and the special effects had me dying. Then I saw some behind-the-scenes footage and it’s honestly kind of sweet. It was written and produced by everyone in the small village of Wakaliga it became a smash hit in the slums of Uganda, and it was never really meant to leave there. It may be one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, but it’s fun to watch something that these people had so much fun doing.

A memorable quote from the movie:

“I’m making German food.

German food?

We found German tourists. We are cooking them.”

Watch the trailer here