Spring break is around the corner! Ah yes, the sweet, sweet five days of freedom and relaxing, away from the stress and work that is school. Time to get out and about with friends and enjoy the warming weather.

Hold up: check out that sweet “hunny” walking our way! Let’s let her know how smokin’ she is by yelling awkward phrases at her in a sad attempt to reel her in. “Hey sweet cheeks, that’s a nice body you got there. Why dontchu come over here with me and we can blow this popsicle stand?”

Yeah, no, let’s stop right there. Catcalling is disgusting and needs to be eliminated. Unless, of course, it is an actual cat calling another cat to catch up on how many birds they’ve watched that week. There are much nicer ways to convey your appreciation of someone’s aesthetics than to yell at them across the room.

As much as I’d like to talk about cats talking about birds, cat calling is a gross issue that needs to be addressed. Sweet hunnies deserve appreciation, but appreciate them respectfully. Walk up and state your compliment, like so:

“Hey, you look wonderful today!”

Does the person give you a nice smile? Is it a “thank you” smile? Is it a “please continue conversing with me” smile? Or is there any smile at all? A simple thank you smile, or no smile at all, 99.99999999999999% of the time indicates that that person is not looking for attention at the moment, and that is your cue to calmly walk away and move on with your life. Otherwise, continue to hit up that sweet hunny and do your best not to make them uncomfortable.

Using these techniques will make spring break, and the rest of your life, easier for sweet hunnies and sweet hunny appreciators alike. Making people feel aesthetically pleasing without making them feel uncomfortable is possible and should be practiced as often as possible. Catcalling does not equal sweet hunny lovin.