Ah, love. It’s such a delicate thing. It’s that time of the year again, where you’re either spending time with your significant other, basking in freedom, or drowning out your crippling depression by eating 20 tubs of ice cream while binge-watching Netflix, waiting for that special someone.

Throughout history, love has been the subject of many great books, movies, and plays, many of which are still enjoyed today. It seems like the romantic idea of love is dead… or is it still salvageable?

There is this feeling in me that is unshakable, and I hope others feel the same as well. There is an elephant in the room that seemingly nobody wants to talk about– there is something inherently wrong in our culture that causes great pain and growing resentment between men and women.

For many millenia, monogamous relationships have been the single greatest driving force behind healthy happy families and civilization itself. Why are healthy relationships becoming an increasingly rare occurrence? If you take a look around, especially if you pay any attention at all to the technology that we use and the media that we consume daily, it should be quite obvious.

Our culture glorifies the worst aspects of ourselves. We have been so desensitized to these forces, that decadent self-degradation has been viewed by some as virtuous, and should be free from the consequences of reality. Social media has fueled narcissism, superficiality, and unhealthy attention-seeking behaviors. Hook-up culture, coupled with today’s technology and hedonistic atmosphere, is the perfect storm that is demolishing people’s success in relationships, especially women’s.

It seems impossible nowadays to avoid the trap of short-term instant gratification.

“Do this, take that, post this, buy that. It’ll make you feel better… For now.” 

The media that we consume conditions us for this, and it goes the same for relationships and the way we view them. A fellow student summed it up perfectly:

“Society has this unachievable measure of love: perfect soulmates, happily ever after, no problems, and a love story, but that’s not how reality works. People aren’t very good at determining what they want apart from societal standards, which is a major issue. If someone doesn’t feel time slow down when they see their special someone walking to them, they feel that it isn’t worth it.”

We are so conditioned to be instantly gratified and to have unrealistic expectations for our partners, people are left unsatisfied, sometimes for selfish reasons. Humans aren’t perfect. However, we should always strive to improve ourselves: Our health, our minds, our lives.

Self-reflection is a very important part of this process. For certain individuals, the problem isn’t others, but themselves. The more we value our own well-being, the more who will cherish us for it.

Men shall strive to be heroes, and women shall strive to be worthy of them. And vice versa.