Dear Fox,

So, I was dating this guy for 4 months. He was emotionally abusive and I think he cheated on me. All of his friends are saying that he did, but him and the girl he allegedly did it with are denying it. I really need to know if he did, for my own closure, for my own sake. Should I keep digging or leave it alone?

–Luna.

Dear Fox,

Let me start by saying this: I NEVER have crushes. It just doesn’t happen. And I’ve been perfectly fine with this–happy even–until I realized that I’ve developed a crush on someone that I follow on Instagram–I know, a modern Romeo and Juliet (I hate it)–and I have no idea what to do about it. He doesn’t live here, so I have no way to casually meet him in person, even though we have a mutual friend. I just don’t know what to do, or if I should even do anything. Should I just let fate handle it? Help would be appreciated.

Sincerely, A Modern Juliet

Dear Fox,

So… I have an ex, we broke up a year ago, it still hurts every time I see him ’cause we dated for a year and a half, I gave so much to him, and I have to see him every day in class. Also, I have to see his new girlfriend in two classes. In other cases I have a new boyfriend, however, there’s another guy who I wanted to date last semester and he was not about it, but now he seems all for it. And I’m about to leave for college and I don’t know if these relationships will even matter in a few months. I’ve hurt so many people, Fox, and I’m tired of it. Please help me so I don’t hurt people again.

-Piano Man/Woman

Love. The thing behind the phrase “The heart wants what the heart wants.” In more realistic terms, said by a wise fox: “The heart wants not only what the heart wants, but also what will mess up the brain the most.” Honestly, love’s tricky. There’s not just one thing it could be, and even though it’s natural for emotions to change, humans are really bad at understanding that change.

Luna, I’d make like Elsa, and let it go. Of course, the people who probably did something wrong are denying they did it. If people are saying that he cheated on you and they don’t have a reason to lie, they’re probably telling the truth. Besides, you could get someone better, by the sound of it. Go get yourself a… (*Quick Google search*) Rolf Scamander. Work your magic, Luna!

Juliet, for your issue, we have to apply multi-dimensional calculus. You see, if we apply integration by parts, and divide the equation by the sine of the opposite angle–Talk to him. That’s it. It’s not that complicated. You sound like you’ve just been looking at your crush through Instagram and not doing anything about it. We live in a great place called the internet, where people thousands of miles away can chat. If you can’t directly message him, get your friend to help get you into those. One last thing for you, Juliet: no poison and no daggers, regardless of how happy they are.

Last, but certainly not least, we have the most complex issue. You just got into a new relationship by the sound of it. It would be wrong to abandon this guy just because an old, unrequited love came by. As for the college bit: it depends on how serious you are with your significant other. I hate to be negative, but long-distance relationships generally don’t last that long. They can, but it’s tough to keep them going. Long distance relationships are like your phone’s charging cord: as long as it’s ever going to be and can get unplugged if you get too far away. You can plug it back in, but that takes effort.

For some bizarre reason, single people tend to give the best relationship advice, and that means that I am at the top of the relationship advice game. I’m definitely not sad or lonely at all. I am, however, truly upset that I can’t eat store-discount chocolate…

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