Well, it’s that time of the year again that people begin vaguely referring to the present time of year on account of some holiday or another. This one in particular happens to be a generally minor one, but there are no shortage of people with a significant degree of investment in it Indeed, it is Valentine’s Day.

The origins of Valentine’s Day dates back to ancient times, 269 AD to be precise (yes, really, you may laugh now), which is said to be the year of the death of Saint Valentine, a Christian religious figure. In the year 496, more than two hundred years later, February 14th was decreed by the church as Saint Valentine’s Day, in no small part so as to add another feast day to the year. It took until the late middle ages (around the 15th century or so) for the day to gain its association to love, namely by European authors and nobility who had recently embraced the notion of courtly love. And thus, Valentine’s Day as the romantic holiday we all know and love (or not) was born.

Valentine’s Day is a surprisingly global holiday, celebrated on all six inhabited continents and perhaps down in Antarctica where the lizard people live, too (I tried to get one for an interview, but unfortunately no Facebook employees were available). Though the holiday is rather ubiquitous in most regions actively influenced by the western world, there is some resistance in certain countries to the celebration of the holiday, especially in Malaysia, Singapore, and India. India especially has some particularly unfavorable opinions on the holiday, citing it as a front for “neocolonialism” and expressing distaste for its commercialist tendencies. Some particularly anti-Valentine sentiments from India can be found through the fascinating statement “They cannot kiss or hug in public places. Our activists will beat them up,” issued by the Bajrang Dal, an Indian youth political party. 

Other countries have their own traditions for Valentine’s Day, perhaps most notably those of Japan. In Japan, a mistranslation of a chocolate company executive’s statement at some point in the 1960s led to the custom of a workplace’s female employees giving chocolates to their male coworkers on Valentine’s Day (with a complicated background on how the specific chocolate given is determined). Male employees respond in turn on March 14th, which is known as “white day” for the white chocolates given. It should come as a minimal surprise that “white day” was also started by a (more deliberate) advertising campaign.

Back home, Valentine’s Day is mostly known for the incessant red-and-pink decorations and sizable spike in consumer spending, with 2017 setting a record at $18.2 billion in economic activity spurred by Valentine’s Day. However, a survey conducted by the National Retail Federation suggests that Valentine’s Day is generally falling out of favor, with less and less people celebrating the day due to three major reasons: over-commercialization of the holiday, a lack of interest in the holiday, and not having a significant other to celebrate the holiday with.

So, with this newfound (or perhaps old-found, for the more erudite among you) information, do you intend to celebrate Valentine’s Day? And if so, how? I, for one, intend to go down to the park and feed the pigeons more food while myself partaking in an industrial-size bag of conversation hearts. Perhaps I’ll even tie novelty ribbons to the pigeons, if they’re feeling especially friendly. Even if you’re desperately alone this Valentine’s Day, you can take solace in the fact that uncountable billions of microorganisms are living on and in your body right now, so at least you’ll be spending Valentine’s with someone, right?

Right?